Title: The Absurd ABC
Author: Walter Crane
Release date: December 11, 2005 [eBook #17283]
                Most recently updated: December 13, 2020
Language: English
Credits: Produced by Suzanne Shell, Christine D and the Online
        Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net
 
The absurd ABC originally published 1874.
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A for the APPLE or Alphabet pie, Which all get a slice of. Come taste it & try. | 
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B is the BABY who gave Mr Bunting Full many a long day's rabbit skin hunting. | 
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C for the CAT that played on the fiddle, When cows jumped higher than 'Heigh Diddle Diddle!' | 
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D for the DAME with her pig at the stile, 'Tis said they got over, but not yet a while. | 
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E for the Englishman, ready to make fast The giant who wanted to have him for breakfast. | 
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F for the Frog in the story you know, Begun with a wooing but ending in woe. | 
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G for Goosey Gander who wandered upstairs, And met the old man who objected to prayers. | 
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H for poor Humpty who after his fall, Felt obliged to resign his seat on the wall. | 
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I for the Inn where they wouldn't give beer, To one with too much and no money, I fear. | 
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J does for poor Jack and also for Jill, Who had so disastrous a tumble down hill. | 
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K for calm Kitty, at dinner who sat, While all the good folks watched the dog & the cat. | 
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L for Little man, gun and bullets complete, Who shot the poor duck, and was proud of the feat. | 
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M for Miss Muffet, with that horrid spider, Just dropped into tea and a chat beside her. | 
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N for the Numerous children they who Were often too much for their mother in Shoe. | 
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O the Old person that cobwebs did spy, And went up to sweep 'em Oh ever so high! | 
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P for the Pie made of blackbirds to sing, A song fit for supper a dish for a king. | 
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Q for Queen Anne who sat in the sun Till she, more than the lily resembled the bun | 
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R stands for Richard & Robert, those men Who didn't get up one fine morning till ten! | 
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S for the Snail that showed wonderful fight, Putting no less than twenty-four tailors to flight! | 
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T stands for Tom, the son of the piper, May his principles change as his years grow riper. | 
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U for the Unicorn, keeping his eye on The coveted crown, and 'ts counsel the Lion. | 
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V for the Victuals, including the drink, The old woman lived on surprising to think! | 
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W for the WOMAN who not over nice, Made very short work of the three blind mice. | 
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X is the X that is found upon buns, Which, daughters not liking, may come in for sons. | 
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Y for Yankee Doodle of ancient renown, Both he & his pony that took him to town. | 
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Z for the Zany who looked like a fool, For when he was young he neglected his school. |